One guy, who sits in the front of the room, likes to announce that class is over by randomly standing up no matter what I'm in the middle of saying or doing...and he was rather surprised last week when I yelled, "SIT DOWN, BUS DRIVER!" at him. So today, he's asking questions that are, on the surface, legitimate, but which, given his personality, are really more like "playing with the boxes" rather than examining the actual content of the gift. I look at him, in the midst of the other general discussion chaos--which is all on topic but which is going in 10 different directions all at once--and I say, "I don't think you want to open that can of worms."
Like magic, the room went completely silent.
I took that as a cue that I was now in control of the class again, or at least they were going to let me think I was in control, and I started to move on to our next discussion point. Then it started.
[Sidenote #1: The custom here is to call me and others like me "Miss" out of respect.]
[Sidenote: #2: Yes, my East Texus accent really sounds like it's spelled below. Somehow, I have ESBSP...Extra Sensory BS Perception...that automatically triggers my accent into the overdrive setting. An extra big glass of wine'll do that, too.]
Here's a close transcript of what unfolded. Different students were yelling out the questions...
Student: "Excuse me Miss, what did you just say?"
Me: " I SAY-AD, 'Eye doent thank yew wanna ope-in that can.ner.werms.'"
"Miss? What do you mean by this can of worms?"
"I mean a can.full.uh.werms. It's sumthin' yew don't wanna o-pen."
"But Miss, why would you put worms in a can?"
"Well, in case yew wanna go fishin' I guess."
"Miss, canned worms do not really exist do they? This is just an American saying?"
"Naw, you can really go to a store and getchu uh cannerwerms."
"But Miss--how do they put the worms in the can?"
"Well, I reckun they just dump'em in thar and shut the lid."
"Miss! Miss! How can the worms live in a can?"
"Well, they throwsum durt in thar withum."
"Then what do the worms eat, Miss?"
"Uh. Durt?"
"Miss! Miss! Is this like a Pepsi can?"
"Naw, thuh ones I'm thankin of luk moorlikuh ice cream cartun."
"Do they keep the cans on the shelf in the store ma'am?"
"Naw, they keepum inuh frig-ger-a-ter. Nextta thuh Pepsi."
"But Miss! But Miss! What happens when the worms get out?"
"Well, I guess they jus start crawlin alloverthuplace."
"But Miss, what do you do then?"
"Well, I guess yuh put 'em back in thuh can? Or maybe yuh jus go fishin'."
This is THE FUNNIEST damn example I've heard yet of an American colloqualism gone awry!! Believe me, I had A TON of them throughout my first year...and ones that weren't nearly as clean as yours (big shocker, I know). These are precisely the moments when I know I'm being challenged by the experience of teaching in this particular place, these particular students. There are moments that force me--physically, mentally, linguistically--out of my comfort zone. They make me come up with a new trick to put in my hat or to ask questions of the students that will help me provide the context they need. I've found out that, very often, a similar version of what we're trying to say exists in Arabic; you just have to explain it in literal terms, and then ask them to tell you (and the rest of the class) what it is. Then laughter is had by all, and you still have control :)
ReplyDeleteI had them in a great uproar. It was awesome fun. And we did eventually get back on task...it was the end of a 50-minute period where we had accomplished a huge amount. Besides, I like to keep the loosest possible control over my control... :)
ReplyDeleteU sure u wernt talkin to jack?
ReplyDeleteNext assignment; Can O' Whoop Ass
ReplyDelete