An Adjustment: Men, Men Everywhere

To review bigger-picture here.

According to the CIA World Factbook, a common resource for demographic questions, Qatar has...

• A population of 833,285.
  Other places list it as closer to 1-1.2 million.
• Of the population, 75.9% is immigrant workers (us included!), based on a UN report.
  That is the third greatest percentage of immigrants in the world, second only to Vatican City (100% immigrant) and Andorra (which has a population of only 52,000).
• A male/female ratio of 2.44 males to every 1 female (ages 15-64)
  To compare, the world ratio is 1.02 male/1 female and the USA is 1/1.

Culturally, women are much less likely to be seen around town.

• Many of the female expats work as housemaids and stay with their sponsoring families.
• Many traditional Arab women, especially my age and older, will stay either in their own houses or in locations that are female-only (such as salons or spas).
• Women of any culture who are perceived a being "out on the town" without a male escort of family are suspected of potentially immoral behavior.  Actually, the same can go for (non-Arab) men in certain places, too.

Therefore, we have a population with 2.5 times as many men as women, where many women are either (1) not in public or (2) are careful about the public places they choose to go.  The result?  In the evenings, especially after the labor day is done, certain parts of the city are filled with men.  All men.  You might spot one or two women (escorted by their husbands or brothers) in the sea of men.

A street scene on the way to Souq Waqif at about 7 PM.

You can't see the faces in this photo, but trust me: they are all male.  The sidewalks are so crowded in some places that it looks like photos of NYC sidewalks at rush hour.

A park where men are socializing.

We come in contact with these folks dozens of times throughout the day.  They are the labor works and service providers who make this huge city run.  They are the human beings that make this city/country function.

Especially interesting is pulling up to a bus load of workers.  If they are laborers, then it is an open-windowed bus, and they are all wearing the same jumpsuit (typically blue).  Or it may be an air-conditioned bus of immigrant security guards.  When you pull up next to a bus or when you stop at a light on a crowded street, as a female you STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.

Sitting next to a bus at a stop light, I have had men take pictures of me and (moreso) of Hannah through the bus/car windows.  The men will openly gaze at us.  Sometimes I smile, nod, and turn my head.  Other times, I put myself in a bubble where I pretend they can't see me.

The open gazing is exactly opposite to cultural expectations in the US.  If a man openly gazes at you, it is either an invitation or lewd.  This has been a big adjustment for me.  At first I was confused: what are these looks?  how do I deal with this gazing/looking/leering?  what does this mean when they're looking at my daughter?  I've never felt unsafe here, only confused.

Then I started thinking about the lives these men lead.  They are separated from their families.  They live in camps--sometimes in dreadful, subhuman conditions--of only men.  They work incredibly long hours under the hot sun often 6 days per week (may even 6 1/2?).  They have often left wives and children behind in their home countries.  They should get to make a trip home each year, but I don't know if that really happens for the true physical laborers.

Now I have adjusted.  I don't really feel confused any more.  When I see them looking at me or at Hannah, I imagine them thinking of their own mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and other loved ones they don't get to see.  I've talked to a couple of other Western women here, and we all have our ways of thinking and dealing with it.

Sometimes I smile and nod, and sometimes I use my bubble.  I will most likely adjust even more, so that it will fade into the background.  But I hope I don't ever take for granted the luck and blessing of being born where I was born and being blessed with the privileges that came with that.