One Month Later: Eleven Things I Miss

Notice that I didn't say "people I miss," because that would (1) take a novel's worth of writing and (2) make me cry a whole whole bunch.

Important Disclaimers:

• I am only speaking for myself, not for John or the kids.  
• I don't expect anyone to "fix" these things, if indeed they could be fixed.
• Overall, we are so thankful to have this adventure.  

The Small Family of Doha have innumerable things to appreciate here, so while this post may be construed as whining, really it's meant to point out some basic differences of "living here" versus "living there."  I'm also interested to know, in 2 or 5 or 10 or 50 years when I look back on this, if any of these things continued to matter.  My guess is they won't.

Peering outside of our backyard wall.

Now having been in Doha for five weeks, I miss...in no particular order...


Garbage disposals: I know lots of people who don't have these in Texas, but that trade off is living in the country, hopefully on a pretty bit of land where a septic tank is required due to no city sewage.  Then the lack of a disposal is one of the trade-offs for a little peace and elbow room and a nice view out your kitchen window.  My kitchen window looks into my garage, and when I look out my bedroom window, I see the cornerstones of what I think used to be a neighborhood, a worker's shanty camp, and trucks, trucks, and more trucks...along with blowing sand on some days.  So I'm in a highly urban area.  I wish that meant I didn't have to pick rice, soggy fruit loops, grit wads, and other slimy things out of my drain strainer.


Dish Network and AT&T telephone CS representatives: Did your eyebrows fly up into your hairline?  Who, in his or her right mind, would say that?  I'll tell you who: someone who knows that any phone call to any customer service representative is going to result in significant communication issues stemming from both language and cultural differences.  You know the frustration of having to re-explain your problem every time you are required to call back or when you get transferred to someone else?  Now add on to that not being able to understand the person on the other end of the phone (and he/she can't understand you completely either).  Now add on to that people taking the whole month of July off for vacation and not delegating to others in their absence (so their voicemails are full)...  Therefore, instead of facing problems head on, I want desperately to avoid them.  And I have a black-belt in super-advanced avoidance behavior.  I got skillz.

Being invisible: Somewhere in my late 20's or early 30's, I became invisible.  This means that no one notices me unless I scream like a sailor at my children in public, and then they only notice me long enough to wonder if I've forgotten my meds.  In general, people are way too busy chasing their own tails (me, too) to notice a middle-aged woman with 20 extra pounds and a bad home-highlighting job and no desire to wear red lipstick or short-shorts.  But here, my hair color and not having my hair or face covered means I get looked at a lot.  By bus loads of foreign workers.  All of them men.  In jumpsuits.  Who haven't been home or seen a friendly female face in...like...a really really really long time.  So I don't think I've suddenly become some great fresh beauty.  I think it's more the shock of seeing blonde/grey hair and a face. And then sometimes Arab men give me odd looks...I would like to stop one and ask him why (exotic? offensive? big booger/right nostril?) but of course, I'm chicken.

Cheap do-it-yourself hair highlighter: Speaking of my bad do-it-yourself highlighting jobs.  Guess what they don't have in the Middle East?  DO IT YOURSELF HIGHLIGHTING KITS.   They've got plenty of dye kits, but that's not what I want.  I've looked at the four major "Western" groceries, and nada por la bleachy.  Don't tell me those European women are all 100% natural blonds.  I know I can go to a salon and get my hair done, but I think the salons who do highlighting would be "upscale," where the other women there do things like get manicures and wear clothes that cost more than $20 per item...and so then I feel even more self-conscious and peeved at the $150 the highlighting job costs.  I'm thinking of ordering a highlighting kit off of amazon.com for $10 and getting it Aramexed here for the extra $20.

MY kitchen:  The kitchen in our current house is lovely--a mile of granite counter top space, a glass cooktop, stainless appliances.  Yesterday, they replaced our faucet with a lovely new one.  I love the dishes they provided and the stainless utensils.  The cookware is fine.  We have way more cabinet space than we need.  It is spacious and functional.  But it's not my kitchen.  It doesn't have the accumulation of my "appliance of the month" acquisitions.  I love to cook, but now cooking means that I have to buy the supplies to actually make the dish (for example, I had to buy a glass baking pan to make baked chicken salad).   No food processor and no Kitchen Aid mixer limits my adventures.  I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars buying versions of these things for here.  Some "garage sale" shopping will help, but I long for my Franklin kitchen.


Chicken nuggets, pizza pockets, and mac & cheese: Speaking of kitchens...it's not just the appliances but it's the supplies, too.  I have vowed not to stock our house with crap food.  There's plenty available here, so this is all my own doing. But every evening at 5 PM, I look in the icebox and I look in the freezer and I look in the cabinet and I realize: feeding a family the "right" way requires ahelluvalotta thinking and planning and, when you're not adjusted to what's available, creativity and problem solving.  Yes, we are eating pinto beans!  And yes, I am making slow headway but it's a brainstrain.

Big blue sky:  The sky here is sort of a yellow color (dust suspended in the air).  I think everyone would be happier if we had a big old clear limitless cerulean sky.  Maybe if we had wind farms like in West Texas that could blow all the suspended dust away?

Iced tea:  If introducing big blue sky is a pipe dream, then let's be more realistic.  Temperatures in the 110s-130s during the summer.  Sand storms.  Hot curry food.  Why isn't this country addicted to iced tea?  Seriously. Why isn't it available in every restaurant every where all the time?  They did have it at Bennigan's, but nowhere else so far (and we're trying not to frequent American chain restaurants).  I make it at home, but it's not quite the same.

The mail: The school generously lets us use their P.O. box since we get so little mail anyway...but there is something really weird about not getting ANY mail at home.  Like when you leave the house for a trip but are 100% positive you've forgotten to do something (turn off the iron?  turn off the lights?  set the A/C?).  Just discombobulating.

The nightly news:  About 20 years ago I had a vivid dream that I was in my middle school cafeteria and Tom Brokaw was pushing me around in a grocery cart.  I still remember that dream, but I hardly remember Tom Brokaw because we haven't found anything approximating the evening news around here.  The nightly news is like my cue to start dinner and pour a vat.  Without the nightly news, I want to avoid making dinner and pour a vat at 10 AM instead.

School:  I miss this for myself, but TAMU-Q starts classes in a little over two weeks.  I am so excited to meet my students!  But really, my heart is aching for the boys.  Jack had made a good friend, but then that boy's two best buddies got back from vacation, and some sort of mysterious "blow up" meant that Jack is now being ignored by that first friend (and Jack never got introduced to the two other who just returned).  Hank hasn't met any boys his age.  The two of them are being such good sports.  They are not complaining outwardly, but I know this must be frightening and difficult for them.  Nothing to do but wait for school to start...in another SIX WEEKS...and enjoy the fun family time until then. 


Now, to balance my karma, I'll be thinking of a terribly up-beat, happy happy silly silly post for next time.