Remember,

A student at our university committed suicide last week.  She had been in one of my classes last year, sitting on the front row, right in front of me. She was a hard-worker, smart, and was not shy about asking a question or challenging another person's opinion.  She was quiet and humble, but not afraid. As a parent, I look at her and her sisters and brothers and imagine them being a source of "pride" for their families (pride is a whole other subject in this culture).  As a teacher, I "love" my students in that I have great respect for them and want to see them succeed.  If I didn't love my students in this way, I wouldn't put up with the downsides of the job. When that semester of our class together first started, she told me briefly about her ongoing struggles with depression and reassured me that she was managing it okay, and I know she had care from within the school and of course, I thought of her and prayed for her to make it through because life comes in these phases and maybe the next one or the one after that wouldn't be haunted by that fear or anxiety or maybe it would but maybe she would find a new way of shouldering it all.  But she didn't.  And suicide in this culture is a major sin and I understand that the family was not happy.  not happy at all.  that she was attending our school, that she attended because of some now silenced desire from her own mind, heart, and/or soul.  So the reaction here has been whispers among the students and silence from the administration. The silence is not what the administration wants but is what it must do because the student's family has requested it.  They don't approve of us or what we do or maybe it has something to do with the student's gender.  I'm not sure.  There was a "funeral" (again, different from one at home), more of a respectful visitation to her house, to sit with the family.  I was invited and wanted to go but couldn't, and then I heard that another female faculty member went and the tension was very bad because the family did not approve.

But even if silence is what the family wants, this student is not silent in my heart.  And her struggles and her story are a slap-in-the-face re-realization that here, a fast paced change to daily/public life is outpacing cultural/private change in ways that will remain unknown to me. Not because I don't want to know but because I cannot know and in a culture of privacy, I am not invited to hear.  It would seem like it must be a paradox of inspiration, amazement, and hope combined with an anxiety and fear.  It would seem like, because of the pace of the change, that it will put a special burden on the current generation of kids and young adults.  They will bear the load of many generations of change on their singular shared shoulders.  Seems like it must be like entering a black hole, anticipation of what might be and the constant threat of being pulled apart, disintegrated.

I cannot forget this student.  She is why I'm here and why I should be concerned about what my presence here means.

Le Petit Gardin: Tres Fantastique!

Thanks to a lot of work by Guru, Babu, Shiva, and others as well as to a final annual break in the temperatures, Le Petit Garden (our back 40...feet) has, as we say, "Gone Bla-Dow" which means had a growth spurt.  When John moved in here, this was a patch of bad grass and a blank wall.  There also used to be a big tree over where the smaller date palm is now (lower left), but the compound took all such trees out as they were interfering with plumbing. I miss that tree as a place for birds and a key provider of shade.  John does not miss it, because it also sucked away all the water that then couldn't get to the other plants.

Yes, the sky is white/yellow (no clouds, no blue). But now look at the bougainvillea!

John has been training a lot of viney things to go over the wall and up the trellises and up the poles to the palapa. I need additional photos of that area and will post shortly.

On another bright note, sometimes Shiva, after trimming things up, brings me bouquets like these (all are from him).  He often ties in sprigs of herbs like basil, mint, lavender, or curry leaves, so they smell delicious.  

Grateful for the cooler, beautiful respite that is our backyard and for all the work and planning that have gone into it.

A Night at the Russian Ballet

Oh, this was full of awesome.

A Russian ballet group, including dancers from several troupes such as the Bolshoi, came to Doha for a performance.   It was a collection of "classic" (i.e., popular) pieces from the standards--Swan Lake, Nutcracker, Don Quixote--as well as several more modern dances.  It was like a box of ballet chocolates where all of them are superb even if one or two are your favorites.

Hannah wanted to know how many "kicking donkeys" would be in that one called Don Quixote, and I assured her that, as a child who is very close to her mother, she will go far in life.  My Texas people should also rest assured that the Native Accent is being learned, even 8,000 miles away.

The tickets for the show were surprisingly expensive ($240 for the three of us in "third class," and Hannah was 1/2 price), but it was worth every penny for many reasons. It was a true splurge, and something I would have either not been able or willing to afford in Texas.





John in his cookie duster and the Princess in her gown. Of course, ballet + gold dress = bun wrapped in golden ribbon.  The other audience members were in a funny array of things, from jeans to ball gowns.  It was great to be among a wide array of cultures and characters. Several friends, including the two Russian ladies that I count as friends and our talented, beautiful Russian music teacher, all went.  A taste of home and a source of well-deserved pride!

The flash was bright, and the Qatar National Convention Center theater was gorgeous.  The slope of the seating meant that even in the "third class" section, we could see just fine.

The seats were also large and comfortable, which meant I was immediately afraid that I might just go to sleep as soon as the lights were down, but that turned out not to be the case.  The dancing and music were beautiful and paying attention was not difficult, even for a tired middle-aged woman.

John brought some Very Fine Binoculars, which I never get did get to try out, but the girlchild said they were useful, especially at spotting bogies and blemishes on her mother's face.

The show didn't start until 8:30, well past bedtime, but Hannah was excitedly on the edge of her seat through the first half (six dances), then she and Jean Cheri split a coke at intermission.  At the start of the second half, she decided that my lap looked even more comfortable than the seats, and by no more than 30 seconds into the first dance...

 The convention center is HUGE.  Big enough to have people who drive visitors in gold carts through the indoor center to get from one end (theater) to the other (exit to garages). Thankfully, she woke up about 1/2 way to the car.  She has gotten bigger, as is appropriate at almost 6.5 years old.

More Cloud Pictures

Usually, we get a day of fall rain, but none since the one day in mid-September.  There's been rain in the northern part of the country, but not where we are.  But the clouds have been afreakingmazing over the past week, and the sunsets have been show-stopping.  Yes, I know that I've just posted cloud pictures, but now I have some more.  If you can't celebrate cool fronts, turning leaves, pumpkins, big bowls of warm soup on cold days, or thunderstorms, then you find something to mark the season change.  That and we spend many months of the year, especially the summer, with no clouds at all.

Parting of the clouds to reveal an orange-pink time of sunset. The sun sets right now about about 5:15. By mid-December, that will be ~4:30.  It gets pitch black very quickly, right now by 5:30.

This was incredible, like a bowl of clouds with the sun shooting up out of the middle.

This was mid-day. The 3D effect of this was exceptional but doesn't show up much on film.  What you have is that greyish smear towards the bottom left was low-hanging.  The big white smear covering the sun was mid-level, and the stratus clouds were way up high.  And the blue (instead of khaki)!  It reminded me of a Big. Texas. Sky.

Doha Halloween 2012

I am proud to say that the people of Doha know how to do Halloween just right!  In the two years past, we have been lucky to have a "carnival" of games set up at the club house, which was a lot of fun.  But this year, Halloween fell during the Eid break, and I guess because no one was here to organize it, the carnival didn't happen.  In fact, I was sort of worried that there wouldn't be many trick or treaters because the compound has been very deserted this week.  I can also only imagine how much work it is to organize that carnival...great respect for the previous leaders and no wish to step up to leading it myself.

Even without the carnival, though, we had a fantastic time trick or treating last night.  Our new friends/neighbors/colleagues came over with this son (precious 2 year old boy who did an outstanding job of being a fully suited-up football player!), we went on an hour-long candy run, and then we treated ourselves to a feast from Turkey Central along with some wooden train-playing time and a good visit.  It was an excellent evening in every way.

The weather has finally "broken" here, and the evenings are now getting very pleasant.  I remember many Halloweens in Texas that we were sweating in shorts and much of any costume (especially plastic masks! ugh!) were no fun to wear. My guess is that it was in the mid-80's last night, which after a long summer of 120+ actually feels wonderful.  And there was a nice breeze. And no sand in the air.  Score!

Here are some pictures...

Hannah was The Tooth Fairy, which was an especially big hit with the real-life dentist who lives on the opposite side of the compound.  He gave her two treats instead of one, just to cement their alliance.  Here, our Tooth Fairy is posing with our Cat Full of Awesome, imported last year from Target and plugged into a step-down transformer so the motor won't get melted by the 240 electrical current here.  The cat is one of those "blow up" decorations with the fan inside, about 6 feet long from tip to tail.  It's lighted head moves back and forth.

This photo just appreciates the chaos of seeing so many kids out in costume.  Not sure where all these little people have been hiding over the past week, but the streets were pretty full!  It's also a lot of fun to have trick or treating among so many cultures and accents: American, English, Scottish, Swedish, Danish, Dutch, French, Russian, Filippino, Jordanian, Lebanese, and many others.

Best quote of the night: Hannah went to her very first house (so her bag was empty), in which a colleague lives with his wife and three kids (Hannah's age and younger).  The Mom is English, and the kids have English accents.  The oldest child, a precocious boy around Hannah's age, put one tiny peppermint in her big, empty bag and said "My mummy doesn't wont yoh tummee tew hut frum tew much candee!"  I can't replicate the accent very well, but hearing that tiny mint echo in that huge bag at the same time this proclamation was made was a funny/cute moment.

Carving pumpkins here remain outrageously expensive (in 2010, we made our own out of papier mache, beach balls, yellow tissue paper, and orange lacquer), and this house solved the problem with a jack-o-melon!  LOVED THIS!  We'll be copy catting next year if I can remember...

This was the scariest house in terms of decorations.  Hannah was brave but still made me come stand by the steps.  It reminded me of the giant (stuffed) spider she used to adore when she was about 2 years old.  She carried that damned thing around all the time.

Hank was our at-home hero, handing out the candy to the hooligans.  That white paper with the jack-o-lantern on it, taped to the door right behind his head, is the "code" that tells our house is open for trick or treating.  When you run out of loot (or if you don't want to participate), then you take it off your door.  A good system!  Hank not only handed out three gigantic bags of candy but also met the Turkey Central delivery person, paid for the food (with money I left), and got it to the kitchen counter ready for us to dig in.  

No photos of the birthday boy.  He was at his friend Daniel's house raising all sorts of Halloween trouble in another compound.  I've had a bad case of the autumn blues (missing home and this time of year...the pumpkin patches, cold fronts, and trees sort-of-changing color), but this evening was a really good boost.  

Faux Beef Pho

I say "faux" because I did not make this broth from scratch.  Beef bones (ox tails?!?) are one of those "go to five different groceries to see if you can find them" things, and I'm not willing to play that game.  So I used a combination of this recipe (charred onion and ginger) and this recipe (basic proportions).  It started with a really good stock concentrate and simmering spices (star anise, cardamom, fennel seed, cloves, cinnamon stick) for 2 hours.  I also marinated the meat, so it was very flavorful and, after another 90 minutes of gentle simmering, very tender.  I did not do the "sliced thin" version of the meat this time but will do that next time.  At the end, I added some bok choy and cooked it until tender before topping with the normal stuff.  Although the broth wasn't "clear" like a good authentic pho, the taste was really good and it had very little fat (none to skim off after refrigerating).

Hank said that in Vietnam, those skilled with the chopsticks were very graceful at eating noodles, much more graceful than the fork-bearers.  Those noodles get slippery!

Next, I want to learn to make Chicken Pho (which Hank says is his favorite) and Veggie Pho.  Then dumplings...

Jack Turns 12

Jack wanted a simple family birthday this year, opting for the fancier presents rather than the party.  He selected the menu: roasted chicken breasts, twice-baked potatoes, and fresh fruit (strawberries and grapes) and veg (orange bell peppers and cucumbers).  Chocolate chip pie for dessert.  It was a perfect celebration to ring in the last year of tweendom.

It was a gorgeous day here, "cool" in the morning and in the evening, with some great blue sky and  clouds.  Yes, clouds are something to celebrate, even when they don't bring rain.  Tonight was almost cool enough to have the windows open for a while...the first real night of "here comes the awesome season" that we've had.  Hurray for surviving the desert summer!

The birthday cake has mini-sparklers instead of candles.  The best part of this is that they burn out really quickly, so we had to sing "Happy Birthday" loudly and finishing just as the sparklers burned out.  And  the sparklers distract from how out of tune our singing is...

The birthday cake (as requested) is a chocolate chip pie. Basically it's this recipe but made in a round cake pan (all the trouble in the original recipe is NOT worth the cookies, but the pie is freaking delicious...the "crust" is very tender, like a really good scone, and I might have added an extra chopped up Hershey bar or two in there, too). 

Hannah made Jack a sweet card, and even got a hug in exchange, which I promptly caught on film since it may not happen again for another 364 days.

The BIG GIFT: a Blackberry.  These are the "cool thing" to have here and allow a pay-as-you-go approach.  Bonus duck face.

We are very proud of our big kid!  Happy Birthday to our Jack!

RPH: No No No No No No No. No. Absolutely Not.

From the Thai Snack restaurant, which included some fantastic dumplings and beef pho.

Bring the Boy Back Home!

 This one will be home from his Vietnam school trip in less than 24 hours.  We are chomping at the bit to get him back and can't wait to hear the details...Nine days is a long time to have him gone.  Not sure how this is going to work out when he wants to do something like...say...go to college.

Super Fairy from the Other Meadow

Today is "dress like your favorite book's superhero" day at school.  Despite having just bought myself a very basic sewing machine, I did not have time to seek out some felt and decorations to make something, so we went to the costume basket and found a very fine solution.

Please meet "Fairy Hannah."  Here is how she described herself to her Dad this morning:

"I am a Super Fairy, friends with Tinkerbell but living in another meadow.  I fly with my wings and fairy dust (which is stored in the bag), and I use my magic wand to help people."

The character parade should be in process as I write.

Thank you to Aunt Julia for the perfect Super Fairy dress! To John for the Super Fairy shoes!  To Scarborough Faire for the Super Fairy wings!  To Mammy for the Super Fairy attitude!

Pillows for Their Stinky Heads

Thank you to our Texas Mammy for sending these awesome hand-made pillows to the Children of the Sand!  They each loved theirs in a special way that comes from a talented and loving pillow artist knowing exactly what each one needs.  I noticed right away that Hannah's had pieces of her crib sheets.

This was the night The Correspondent got home...the night before Hank went to the airport for his Vietnam trip.  Thankfully, his hair is wet from being washed (not greasy!). They are all sleeping with their heads propped up on Texas hugs and kisses.

Legomania: The Best of the Builders

The boys liked Legos, too, but when I would buy them a big set, more often it was me building it.  Admittedly, I love building with Legos...following the visual instructions is like a cross between a puzzle, a where's Waldo (finding the new pieces as their added), and a great feat of engineering. So I never complained about the building.

But when her Fantastic Father brought her the Legos Beauty Shop as her first "very own" set, the Girlchild proved to be her own, independent builder.  She followed the instructions to a T and did a great job of making it exactly as shown.  Now let's hope that she learns to tear it apart and do some creative thinking, too...she's already been at that sort of thing with the boys' Legos.

She herself, who has been planning the layout and services of her future real-life multi-story beauty salon for over a year,  really loves these "girlie" Legos, and I'm glad for her to have a set that draws her attention even more but is an even better fit for the colors and ideas that she loves.  Santa surely is watching...

RPH: Autumn Doha Style

This photo doesn't do the sunset justice--it was gorgeous this evening.  The days are getting shorter--sunset around 5 PM--and temperatures are starting to head towards bearable (mid '90s) though not as awesome as they will be in another month or two.  These clouds looked like they might bring some rain, but alas, we just enjoyed the display.  No wet stuff.  In a place where the sky is more often beige, I'll take the gorgeous blue.  And clouds are not a common occurrence either.

This is "autumn" Doha style.

RPH: The Heartful Bird

Dear People Who Make the Heartful Bird:

If you have every spent time around a macaw, then you might think again about describing the sounds this "birdie" makes as "chirping," although I am sure it will indeed have an effect related to a "bady."  I'm also thinking that a "moment of placidity" that is "entirely free from worry" is not what you're going to get from this Wiggly Penholder.

We did not buy a Heartful Bird.  

We have a yodeling chicken named Wa'allah.

RPH: Super Harayer Tissues

This is a box of tissues.  Tissues are commonly used as table napkins here. 

The box is decorated with a bounty of golden brown curls.

The brand is Super Harayer. 

Say that out loud: Super Harayer.

Is it good to have hairy tissue?

Should I be collecting hairs in my tissues?

Have I lived 42+ years and missed something that would help this make sense?

Dancing Shoes

Her first "heels."  My only pair of "heels."
Her reassurance: "It's okay that you look so plain, because I look so fancy."

To my own defense, I was wearing lipstick.

Qatar Mosque Tour

Last week we were taken on a great tour of Qatar's state mosque, named Muhammad Ibn Abdul Wahhab Mosque. It was opened in late 2011 and is beautiful.  The tour was sponsored by Education City (where we work), and we are really glad we took the kids along.  The whole tour took a couple of hours, and a good section was information about Islam.  It was a fantastic learning experience and a real treat to see this mosque that I've driven by so many times.  Here are some photos...

Outside the mosque when we arrived. 

 The mosque faces the New Doha skyline.  Poor kids with sun in their eyes...

A new colleague, Dr. Seawright.  She ingeniously had her students help her learn how to tie her scarf, so not only was it tied beautifully but also she had a great bonding experience with some of her Aggies!  It's considered polite for women to cover their hair when entering a mosque.  We also all removed our shoes.  Thankfully photos were allowed.

The minaret from the inside courtyard area.

Hannah and her friend, Elysium.

The sky turned a lovely shade of blue as the sun began to set.  Reminded me of Texas!

The architectural details of the mosque are gorgeous.  

These lights are hanging just outside the entrance.

Inside.  The place is large and peaceful; in fact, I couldn't hear any of the outside traffic or other city noises.  This would be a lovely place to pray or meditate.

We had two presenters who talked about Islam and answered questions.  They're standing in front of the place where the Imam stands to lead prayers. The Imam is like a congregational leader but who has proven himself extremely knowledgeable (as in memorized with meticulous accuracy) of the Q'uran. But if the Imam makes a mistake during any of the prayers, others can correct him.  I'm thinking that would be an awkward moment. :)

The clocks tell the specific time of day for each of the five prayers.

Back in the courtyard area, a view of the city skyline and some gorgeous screen cutwork.

While we were leaving, it was time for evening prayer. The sky grew dusky.
And then the lighting of the lamps.

Back to the busy world.

View from the mosque.

The mosque lit up for evening.  The angle for these photos is not good--the building is huge and very impressive seen from a little further back. 

This is short vide of a partial call to prayer (adhan--read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhan). I wish I had been ready when it started--the man's (muezzin's) voice was beautiful.  Qatar has the most mosques per capita of any country in the world, and the call to prayer can be heard from just about any point in the city--certainly from outside. We can hear it in our villa but it's muted because of the concrete walls.  The call is something I've truly grown to love about living here, and when we leave some day, I'll miss it.

I clearly remember going into a mosque for the first time.  It was the one at Katara, which is a cultural/visitor center.  We couldn't figure out if we were "allowed" to go into the mosque or not, and a guard (who didn't speak much English) told me "no" when I asked.  But then I saw the ladies coming out of the upstairs entrance, and I had a scarf with me, so I just decided to go do it.  Honestly and for real, I was terrified that I was going to offend someone and get kicked out of the country.  Now I understand that a mosque, like a church, is open to whomever wants to enter it.  The scarf and shoelessness are polite conventions of respect and care, but the actual act of entering is no problem.  

Thinking back to my Presbyterian church in Texas, I would be horrified if someone felt that level of fear about coming into the church...I would want people of any background to feel welcomed to come in and look around and sit and ponder samenesses and differences and curiosities and ask questions.  That welcoming feeling that I would have is much closer to the real welcoming attitude in these mosques.

There's so much fear associated with the unknown, especially regarding religion, and we (in the US) have become so overly sensitive ("PC minded") about religion and politics that we have a horribly difficult time just having open conversations about our curiosities.  Even those who intend a high degree of respect for others' beliefs...that respect turns into a "space" of tolerance, a way to let/leave people "of difference" alone. And that aloneness or separation draws lines that divide us.  And those lines, perhaps drawn in respect, seem to become boundaries that then we feel we cannot cross.  And then those boundaries generate worry about "what goes on in there."  Somehow the respect gets distorted into fear.  It's ironic and sad. And frustrating.  

And it makes me even more thankful for opportunities like this mosque tour.