Random Thoughts on Unraveling a Life

Four nights from tonight we'll be out of this house, after 8 years here and over 15 years in this area.
One week from right now, we'll be airborne.

Of course, it was our choice to (1) take on the adventure and (2) move out of our house (rather than keep our stuff here).  The house was getting too small.  The boys share one small bedroom, and the bickering was pretty bad.  Of course, one of my good friends--also with two boys of similar age--says the separate rooms doesn't solve the bickering. Instead, they just stand in the doorways to their separate rooms and bicker from there.  They've had their own spaces for the past several nights.  Hannah is sleeping with me, Hank is in her room, and Jack is in their original bedroom.  I think there is less bickering, but maybe they're just acting nice because they're afraid I might lose my last ounce of sanity.

So I've/we've been taking our lives apart one box and one pet and one garbage bag at a time.  The effects have been interesting...

I can't describe what it's like for the kids or for John.  The kids are on an extended version of Christmas Crack--every day is some adventure and so they're either jumping around, singing or they're exhausted.  I think I may interview each one of them tomorrow or get them to answer questions for their own blog postings... John will have to speak for himself!

For me, it's been a definite mixture of chaotic feelings.  First, it's the feeling of a serious challenge, trying to live up to my long standing wish to purge ourselves of the 75.6% of Walmart/Target that we own.  I mean, how much plastic should one family have?  Maybe the government should put a carbon limit on each family, in terms of how many plastic toys it can own.  I want to be successful at this purging challenge.  I want to live more simply without so much to care for and keep picked up.  I want to live without that feeling of "wanting" that I think may be part of the American psyche.  I want to come out of this purge feeling less suffocated by possessions.

Second, it makes me sick in the pit of my stomach.  I think about how much we've sold, taken to Goodwill, thrown away, and packed...I think about the animals and the wonderful people who have taken them...I think about our remaining possessions sitting in a hot storage shed for two years...I think about the Talking Head's song "Once in a Lifetime": "This is not my beautiful house.  This is not my beautiful wife."  I think waking up there, after a couple of weeks when the vacation feeling has worn off.  It will be surreal.

The night before the second garage sale:
Much less "small stuff," and what you don't see are the four twin beds, 

one queen bed, washer, dryer, chest freezer, and icebox that all found homes.  

At 6:55 AM, we had 6 cars waiting in line.  By 8 AM, most of it was gone.  

By 9 AM, my fantastic neighbor had found homes for the table/chairs 

and the sewing cabinet.  By 10 AM, the garage door was closed and 

everything that was left fit in three small boxes...

Third, it makes me nervous: about the loved ones we leave in Texas and New Mexico and elsewhere in the States, about the friendships that we'll put on hold (especially the kids) being okay when we get back, about the loose ends that I'm sure I've forgotten, about how the hell I'm going to fit all the remaining stuff we want to take into the suitcases, about whether or not my shampoo will explode in my suitcase.

Finally, of course I am so very excited and anxious (in a good way).  I'm anxious to get this last push over with.  I'm anxious to see John.  I'm anxious for the kids to see John and to see this magical crazy place we've been telling them about.  I'm anxious to feel the intense heat of their summer, to see if it's really as horrible as it sounds.  I'm super anxious to take the kids to Souq Waqif for adventures.  I'm anxious for them to start school (in mid-September!).  I'm anxious to be able to post blogs about something else other than packing boxes and feeling anxious.  I am supremely anxious to meet my new students and to hopefully form bonds with them.

This is leaving about 90% of what's in my brain unsaid.

The good news for today is that I closed up my office on campus (turned in computers, keys, etc.).
The good news for today is that I'm at the point where some old plastic dishes get used and then not washed but thrown away!
The good news for today is that I've completed our HEB stock-up trip (anti-persperant, because what they have there is apparently strange...kid medicines...mini-Reese's...still have to get corn tortillas!).

Tomorrow starts the "empty the room completely" phase.  My hope is it will be a productive day.

 A view of the current almost-empty state:
Our bedroom, except I've cleaned off most of the stuff from the table.

The bed is sitting on the floor.  Thankfully, the lady who wanted my bed, 

as well well as the lady who wanted the remaining set of twin beds,

were happy to wait one more week to come get them.

I can already tell you that I HATE HATE HATE packing table lamps.